BREATHING SPACE

where is mine?

FLAB-BERLICIOUS

i spent a rather large part of today at my grandma's, eating and sleeping and eating somemore. a rather healthy lifestyle i reckon, if healthy equates good food and minimal movement/activity.

doesnt matter. at least life like this has lots of joy.

i met up with the woods and MG later in that evening. (i'm sorry i had to miss the concert). despite the fact that we all meet up very very un-oftenly, all the good times doesnt seem so foreign. haha.

anyway, i left a roll of film with someone and i'm going to take it back to develop soon. at least i know that when its with me, i get to see the actual photos after a while, instead of leaving it at some table in someone else's place. waste of time.

and i hafta remember to pay my parking fine. haha. stupid shit. to think that i actually psycho-ed myself to believe that it was free parking!

really dumb. ha!

AI7

initially it was the wait was agonising. the final two performance wasnt very good for dcook. simon even went and said it was a knockout win for darch.

then came the 2hours long results show.


the davids.


the stupid result announcement which took like eternity.

despite all, simon apologized for the previous night's comment. HA! and then like all awesome singers of the show, he emerged the winner!


american idol 2008!


DAVID COOK.

after that relief, nothing else mattered.

now i cant wait for his album release.

(but arch was good too. cook just deserved the win.)

(: (: (:

PAPERCUT

i dont want i dont want i dont want.

i reallyreallyreally dont.

how's that for finality.

SO THEY SAY.

despite it all, life still goes on.

although i dont hang out as often already, i'm still hearing things from people. thanks for the updates, its really interesting!

now that word has it that the "ABC" is already known throughout the group, i'm wondering just how long does it take for it to take effect. bcos the guys there just like to talk. just talk.

school is over. *yay*. thats only because we're in the midst of exams. *boo*.

i've never felt so ____ for a major exam before. jialat.

and i need to really make that long-overdued trip down to the national library!! i need the stupid book.

rah.

MY 080508.

it sucked.

its not because i have an econs exam paper today. its not because i have to travel all the way to expo to sit in the same exam hall as a few thousand over students who are taking the same paper as me. its not because my nose was runny the whole entire 3hrs that i have to resort to asking the invigilator for toilet paper (bcos they have no tissue paper) to blow my nose.

no. its not that.

it is the day, when everything is over. the whole white tentage will be down (or is already down as of now). its the day for goodbyes, the final ones. its the day when fire looked so evil and nothing could stop the imminent sick factor of seeing someone you love turn to ashes.

everyone will be down to collect the remains tmr at mandai. everyone except two. i will be at expo again taking the stupid statistics1 exam. guillaume will be at his sch taking his compo paper too. everyone but the both of us will be there.

boy do i hate the education system. another reason why i dislike the current exam period.

some would be wondering why am i so hard-up over this. its not like i'm the only person who lost a grandfather. haha. i agree to that.

but its not as if they had a grandfather who sat with them in class throughout their whole nursery year, making him the oldest student any teacher has ever had present in class everyday.

its the heartache i can't tolerate. there isnt any visual left of his presence. photos arent quite enough.

and seeing the way the whole situation pains my grandmother makes it all worst.

gatherings would never be the same again. no more towkay sitting at the end of the table. no more old man sitting on his lazy-boy watching wrestling. no more him.

yes i am very bitter about it.

and i still blame those (useless) doctors. bloody retards. why study so hard for that certificate when your best is obviously not good enough.

in consolation, people tell us to take it easy and that death has to come inevitably.

and because of that, i blame God. he put us all on this earth and he takes us away after our purpose is done. we're just like his puppets. its as if he is playing Sims.

he better take care of my old man. and he better relieve my family of their sorrow and grief. he better work his magic to make it all better.

he better.

LAO HERO,

ninty-two years was a long journey for anyone to go through, but you made it. you've always been this special person, wholesome and strong. you were tasked with being the head of us all, i could never ask for someone else better.

no one would have done it better than you did.

you made our imperfections seem flawless. you teach us to persevere and keep the faith. you've always said God doesnt deny us from our prayers, he is merely just trying to test the limit that we are willing to fork out for what we've asked for. he wants us to earn it you see, bcos by doing so, the success tastes sweeter.

i admire your bravery. the courage you have to see you through putting all your hopes and dreams in the hands of the man above is just unfathomable. hats off to you, sir.

dont worry about the rest of us. we'll be good. and grandma will be fine. she is as strong as you, and thats good enough an example for us to follow through this period of internal turmoil. (and shit).

i'll make extra sure no one bullies her behind your back ok. (though i know you've already got that covered.)

haha.

i miss you already, oldman. and that sucks. like a whole lot.

but you're in a better place now. a place without a whole lot of ugly that earth has in store. soon enough, someday i'll still see you again. and when the time comes, i expect to see you healthy, fit and really really good-looking. haha.

and we'll play chinese chess then! i'll up my game for sure. winning you once really isnt enough!

so take care! say hi to paradise for me.

...

i love you very much grandpa. i hope you know it.

(i'm not just saying it because its 040508. i really really do!)

dont miss us much! (:

TWB COUNTDOWN.

bbqs are interesting. i used to think having a bbq means just eating barbequed food in a hot environment filled with a lot of noise, occasional perspiration and weight gain.

i was wrong.

the behind-the-scenes part is the one that brought the "new light".

there's a problem with task-assignment, planning, booking, buying and cleaning up. but all holds nothing against the M-word. (yes it has 5letters and rhymes with honey).

it builds and yet destroys relationships.

haha. the irony.

on another note, its almost coming to a month already.

DAMN! so fast.

now my exams are really coming..

ON TOP OF THE WORLD.

usually this doesnt happen. usually i'm be so dead in slumber by now, it wont be another 8 hours before i resume my normal activities.

yes, that includes waking up.

people always have this misconception about me; that i sleep so much. to the extent that waking up is optional.

by the term "waking", it doesnt mean the normal opening of eyes. no. it means opening the eyes till about another 12hrs at least before the sleep monster attacks again.

yes, i rarely do that. (surprise, surprise). my opening of eyes usually lasts till after my meal. very quickly, as if its magic, i'll start to feel the usual sleepiness after eating or doing any activity, and within the next hour i'll be again, unconscious.

love the feeling. makes the days so much shorter.

but now i cant seem to fall asleep! which sucks bcos i have a long labour-day ahead of me to keep awake.

ughhh.

i need to pee. bye.